Source: "The Swedish Toolkit"
In many countries around the world, you may naturally greet strangers
And start talking
For no particular reason
You end up talking for a little while
You get curious
You take a coffee together
Or invite for dinner
You get to know each other around food
You connect intellectually
You decide to organise an activity
You go walking
And end up picking berries
Purposeful activities follow from interesting conversations
And a curiosity for getting to know new people
This is the typical timeline
In Sweden, it works a bit differently
First, you sign up in an organisation
For example The Organisation for the Picking of Berries
There are organisations for everything in Sweden
You meet with the group for the first time in the forest
This may be scary for some
I was holding a lecture a few years ago
Two foreigners came to me after the lecture
And said
"Where we come from
people invite others to the woods
to kill them!"
Do not worry
Woods are safe in Sweden
First you meet in the forest
you work purposefully for several hours
mostly in silence
Purposeful communication may take place around practical aspects of picking berries
Months pass by and you meet regularly through the berry picking organisation
After a few more months
When you have talked regularly with one of the other member of the organisation you are part of
you may invite that person outside the "social bubble"
And meet alone for a coffee or a dinner
In Sweden, dinners are not a means to getting to know people
They are a result of an established relationship
This is key to understanding the Swedish socialization logic
Do not invite a Swede you just met to share a meal
You may never see him or her again
Get involved first
Take part in organised and purposeful activities
Social norms in Sweden are peculiar
You may need a guide
--
"The Swedes" and "Working with Swedes" present many of the unknown social rules in Sweden
By Julien S. Bourrelle
Book a lecture on www.juliensbourrelle.com
Watch him on TED
