Swedish förfest

Source: "The Social Guidebook to Sweden"


I love Swedish förfest

The first time i entered a Swedish party

I saw guys sitting in the living room drinking beer

And all the girls standing in the kitchen drinking wine

I had never seen so many beautiful girls in one single room

Like a good Frenchman, I went straight to the girls

Big mistake

Girls were not ready to talk with me

And guys got a little annoyed that I bypassed the unwritten rule

Guys need to be with guys first

Girls with girls

For a few hours

Quite surprising in gender equal Sweden



But then something very special happened

At some point between 22h55 and 23h00

Girls suddenly started to invade the living room

Sometime physically pushing some of the guys to get their attention

Or sitting on them

All guys around me seem used to that sudden physical contact

In otherwise distant Swedish interactions

I quickly understood that this is how they do it in Sweden

Girls had subtly observed and decided which guy they wanted

But they needed to wait until the large quantity of alcohol they had ingested started to have its effect

By that time guys also had ingested impressive quantity of beer

A few minute before 23h a succession of girl-guy "flirting" could be observed

23h00 – time to go to town

The rest of the night is in the book

Have a nice party this weekend


"The Swedes" and "Working with Swedes" present many of the unknown social rules in Sweden

By Julien S. Bourrelle

Book a lecture on www.juliensbourrelle.com 

Watch him on TED